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Misconception: We Can't Get Along Well Enough to Negotiate

May 1, 2021

Sometimes people are so mad at each other, they don't even want to talk or be in the same room. Or, in some cases, one party is scared of the other.

That can create problems, but it's a problem that can be reduced to the point that the parties can effectively meet and talk. Here are three points to remember if you are in that situation.

1. Negotiation is a better alternative than court. You get to control the timing and the outcome. In addition. it usually costs less than going to court and is less stressful than court. In addition, as long as we are affected by the Covid-19 virus, court sessions are shorter and much farther in the future. Court, for now, is not a good option. Court is always more stressful.

2. People are generally on their best behavior when they are around outsiders. Even if you and your spouse always argue when you're together, my experience is that people usually behave when they are with attorneys in Collaborative meetings or mediation sessions. Plus is someone starts to act up, there are witnesses and the professionals will quickly shut down any bad behavior.

3. The communication specialist teaches the parties new skills and manages the meetings. Almost always, the parties in a Collaborative Divorce improve their communication skills and act better toward each other. That's a true advantage, especially when you will have a continuing relationship of some sort (like as a co-parent) with your ex-spouse.

So, don't give up. Don't let your current difficulties in getting along with your spouse make you think there's no hope for negotiations. Things can and will get better.