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We Disagree Too Much to Do Collaborative!

Sept. 13, 2021

You may think that you and your spouse disagree on issues too much to be able to use Collaborative Law. What that means is you don't know enough about Collaborative Law. There's no limit on issues it can resolve.

1. Litigation won't make the disagreements go away. They just won't be resolved as well as they could have been in Collaborative. There will likely be more conflict.

  • Without lawyers trained in problem-solving through Collaboration, the parties will probably have attorneys who go into the traditional steps of conflict-enhancing litigation. There will probably be much less cooperation between the attorneys as compared to Collaborative attorneys.

  • In addition, litigation doesn't provide for a therapist or a neutral financial advisor to help the parties create solutions and minimize conflict.

  • When the parties can't reach agreements, the issues will probably ultimately be decided, at least in part, by standard guidelines and the judge's own biases.

2. There's really not “too many disagreements” to use Collaborative. There are simply better tools to use than litigation provides to handle all the problems. As long as the parties are open, honest and committed to reaching an agreement, Collaborative can be effective.

3. Collaborative works on difficult issues. There's no reason to limit it to the easiest cases. Using the Collaborative process does not create easy solutions. It requires hard work, patience and dedication. But it is a flexible framework that can handle very difficult and unusual cases. The Collaborative Law process can successfully deal with difficult issues such as:

  • Adultery

  • Job loss

  • Alcohol abuse

  • Mental disorders

  • Conflicts over parenting styles

  • Alienation allegations

  • Custody fights

  • Long-term illnesses

  • Relocation

If an attorney or anyone else ever tells you that there are “too many disagreements” to use Collaborative Law, you need to get a second opinion from an experienced Collaborative lawyer. We can explain why we disagree with that assessment!